Don't Stop Believin' (Part 1)

Recently I was watching a movie called '500 Days of Summer' with my sister. We both felt quite stirred by different themes in the movie and spent some time talking about them later. This is the result of that conversation. The movie is about a man who is in love with a girl who is afraid to commit to him. Throughout the movie, he is continually reaching for the security of a clearly defined, conventional relationship but it seems to keep eluding him. It seems like a metaphor for my spiritual journey. As I have been walking by faith, the seasons change and periodically I think, “Now I’ll finally have security”. Yet just as I think I am going to walk into a time of clarity and stability it dissipates like a vapor before me.

At that point, it begins to resonate on my family of origin issues. Often when I was growing up, it would seem like things were taking an upward turn but as soon as I began to believe and let my guard down they would explode again. It felt like the rug was pulled out from under me. Then I would close off my heart and believe the message that “it is not ok to trust” or that “everything good will blow up in your face as soon as you believe in it”. What I didn’t realize at the time was that this was actually a belief about God and that it would affect my relationship with Him.

Fortunately, God does not leave well enough alone but chooses to confront wrong beliefs in us with the truth of His love. For that reason, He often “pushes our buttons”; allowing circumstances into our lives that bring up the hurts and issues that cause these wrong beliefs in the first place. This is so that they can be dealt with and we can be made whole.

God did much the same thing with the nation of Israel when they escaped from slavery in Egypt. The system that they were leaving was abusive and brutal – demanding that they complete back-breaking tasks under the threat of death or torture and then withholding from them the very materials they needed to complete them. Then finally, their cries for deliverance are answered by God in the person of Moses who leads them out of slavery. At this point, one would think that it was time for a bit of a honeymoon with God. They needed some time to heal and should be coddled so that they can get over their deep wounds at the hands of their evil oppressors.

But that is not what God does. He continually allows them to be in situations that test their faith and expose how their previous experiences have built up wrong beliefs about God in their hearts. First they’re trapped by an army, then are out of water, then have no food, etc. Each time, God shows up and miraculously delivers them once again. Yet each time something goes wrong they seem to drift right back into their unbelief. Why the cycle? Because God is continually confronting them at the place of their wrong beliefs, to a deeper and deeper level each time, showing them who He really is; showing them that He is not like their brutal taskmasters or the gods of the land they have escaped from. He speaks to their past experiences and hurts saying, “I’m not like that.”

Look for Part 2 coming soon...

Ben Gumienny helps build bridges at The Bridge Kelowna. He is passionate about connecting people to their purpose in life and to each other in community. Besides writing, he also loves hockey, reading and "The Office". Ben would like to credit Ray Stokes Jr. for how his wisdom influenced this post.