Making Peace with the Present

The other day I heard that Americans receive an average of about 3000 commercial messages in a given week and that this tends to create a wish fulfillment dynamic in our culture. This means that we are always wishing for something that we don’t have thinking it will fulfill us. Another way I’ve heard it put is the “moving horizon”. In the same way that one can never reach the horizon no matter how fast we go, we can always be moving towards something future with an uneasy feeling of dissatisfaction in our lives. In fact, I think that the main message in most advertising has become one of the mottos of our culture: “My life would be better if only…”

Lately I’ve been in a bit of a funk myself (not the James Brown kind either – that would be an entirely different blog). At times I’ve felt crushed between the rocks of disappointed hopes and the waves of frustrated goals. When I started thinking about all of this it was because of a still, small voice inside me that said, “Can you learn to make peace with the present?” It felt like I was being offered a better possibility – an alternative to the tyranny of the unfulfilled, often unreachable “If-Onlys” in my life.

I realized that I had been futilely chasing the horizon for some time. Let me give you a couple examples of what I mean. Recently two goals that I had been moving towards for some time were achieved. They were two big “If-Onlys” in my life. One was that I wanted to be able to work on staff at the church in a pastoral role and the other was to find our own house to purchase and settle down in. Between those two things there was more than three years of working and hoping. It seemed like they would be key solutions to something indefinable in my heart. Well guess what? In the last 4 months, I reached both of those horizons and they weren’t the solutions I hoped for. Don’t get me wrong: Both have been a source of blessing to me and I’m grateful. However, they weren’t happy endings or finish lines but simply doors to walk through that led into new challenges and journeys. On top of that, I realized that other horizons that I am chasing, for one, becoming a father, continued to leech the joy from my life.

It began to dawn on me that reaching my goals would not fulfill me and that life is not a series of destinations to be reached but about walking with God in the midst of the journey. If I’m constantly focused on unfulfilled wishes, then I put entirely too much pressure on myself and others around me to be moving me towards my goals. This leads to anger (frustration) at those in my way, a lack of peace with the present and an inability to be grateful for “now”. On the other hand, God was promising me peace if I could put my hopes in His care and learn to find contentment in the present. This doesn’t mean denying that I have hopes and dreams that are yet to be fulfilled but knowing that they won’t be the final answers to my longings (I think those will have to wait until heaven). So, I’m trying to take God up on His offer and learning how to walk in the present with contentment.

Ben enjoys how often he gets to spend time connecting with people in his community - so much inspiration and joy comes through it. Ben is excited about spring weather and sunshine-filled days!